tonidolhan:

I yearn to have someone whisper
sweet nothings in my ear
as we lay entangled with each other removing the essence of loves despair.

tonidolhan:

I only ever wished to be a star
shining up in the sky;
then I could watch over you
every single night.

I only ever wished to be a star
shining up in the sky;
then I could watch over you
every single night.

Why do I do this to myself?
Think about the things that used to be
Put myself through constant pain.
Always an endless day of suffering,
wishing to go back to the days
where everything was good again.
I wish you weren’t just my friend
I wish you were so much more
like you were back then.
I wish I could still hold your hand,
I wish I could smile through your lips
and lie with you until I fell for you
just as the sun did too.
While we sat outside underneath
the stars, encased in the moonlight fingers laced as were our hearts, we dreamt of all that we could be a forever shared by the light of you and me.
I just want to be with you,
this hurts so much
knowing that we’re through…

I’m a mystery:
an open book
written in code,
and here’s my hook.
I live between
life’s extremes:
happy and sad,
nice and mean.
If something matters to me,
I give it my all,
and I’m the type of girl
that’s quick to fall.
I can be stubborn,
difficult and confusing,
and my quirks
can be quite amusing.
I get hyper
when I drink caffeine,
and I always wear
my heart on my sleeve.
I actually laugh
when I type “haha.”
I talk when I’m nervous.
Just blah, blah, blah.
I try too hard
to be what others need,
but what you get
is what you see.
I’d rather get hurt
than hurt someone else,
and everyone has good
inside of themselves.
I’m my own worst critic,
and I judge myself harshly.
My low self-esteem
makes some people angry,
but I believe
in telling the truth,
and everyday
I learn something new.
You know you can’t judge
a book by its cover
because there’s so much more
hidden just under.

pah//about me (via pah11)
I.
I find it hard not to find everyone beautiful.
II.
I mean,
I love the way boys look with their hair all messed up early in the morning,
Sleepy smiles stretching across shell-pink lips.
I love the way boys look with crinkled noses, wrinkled brows,
Mouths quirked to the side while they try to figure everything out.
I love boys who have to reinvent the lightbulb to answer a simple question,
I love boys who know the names of constellations and boys who put way too many sprinkles on their ice cream and boys who have learned there are no such thing as too many sprinkles and boys who still give their moms kisses on the cheek and boys who like little kids and boys who like the smell of rain and boys who still sleep with a nightlight and boys who have the hearts of lions and boys who have the voices of mice.
I really, really love boys.
III.
But the thing is,
I also love girls who smell like green apples or coconut or cotton candy.
I love girls whose hair blows in the wind behind them when they take off running.
I love girls with glossy lips and soft skin and sweet smiles and silky locks.
I love girls who are a little bit clumsy, who wear road rash on the heels of their hands and bumps and bruises on their knees like constant accessories.
I love girls who flail around at rock concerts, girls who dance like nobody’s watching in the middle of the street.
I love girls who are afraid of spiders and girls who aren’t afraid of much of anything and girls who are never without a pack of spearmint gum and girls who aren’t afraid to cry and girls who always have mismatched socks and girls who have sloppy handwriting and girls who could eat their body weight in chocolate cake and girls who love the ocean and girls who don’t know how to cook and girls who wear nothing but blue jeans and girls who wear a dress and heels every day because they know the importance of feeling like a goddamn queen.
I really, really love girls.
IV.
And yet,
I find myself loving people who are both, neither, or fall somewhere in between.
I fall in love with sparkling eyes, with silvery laughter.
I fall in love with souls that have weathered storms,
With voices like thunder and kisses like lightning.
I fall in love with bad singing voices, with eclectic music taste, with long conversations past midnight.
I fall in love with anyone and everyone.
V.
I fall in love with people.

All I wish for is for you to be here.
Right next to me, lying wrapped
under these sheets.
I want you to hold me
and keep me from falling apart.
I’m scared, I’m hurt,
and I’m afraid of the dark.
I don’t like not knowing
what is out there
but you seem to make me
forget why I’m scared.
When I’m with you,
you make me feel safe,
like everything is right.
I want you to kiss me and take
my mind off all my problems.
Not just a peck on the lips
but a kiss that gets me lost
and leaves me out of breath.
I just want you to spend the night
so there’s nothing more to think of besides you and I.

Your hand caresses my cheek,
fingertips trailing slowly down my neck to my sides, pulling me in close as you stare into my eyes.
Your look is as beautiful as innocence but hidden within is the seductive cries so malevolent.
I want to drown in the sea of your eyes while your hands guide me to my demise.
I’ll follow your every step while my heart beats faster and my mind races thinking of what will come next.
The rational part of me will be buried beneath the other half; intoxicated by your lust, under your spell that I wish I could believe was love.
I’d let you guide me into your bed leaving all my doubt unsaid.
I would let myself get lost in your lips as your hands wander down to my hips.
Slowly stripping me of not just my clothes but my dignity too, your eyes marvel at the beauty of the seeming simplicity it takes for you to reap your prize.
A foolish girl with a heart so true, poisoned by the taste of you.
If only you could see what it is you’ve done to me…
killed me in a way filled with unbelievable pleasure and excruciating pain…